Convention Preparation Song

A parody of the Barenaked Ladies song “One Week” for your enjoyment today!

You’ve got… one week to get your booth ready
Cocked your head to the side and said “I’m busy!”
Five days since your printer laughed at your due date
“Get that together and come back with CMYK.”
Three days since the quote from Lulu
You realize it’s your fault and you live in a zoo.
Yesterday you forgot to export TIFs
But it’ll still be two days to get them confused with GIFs

Hold it now and watch the YouTubes
As it makes you stop, boobs
You’ll think you’re looking at Wonder Woman
You summon up wishes to the dish, although you like the Mrs.
Gonna get a better set of monitors
Wanna get the ones with rounded corners
Just so you can get a better color balance for InDesign
Gotta get Sailor Moon on iTunes
Cause that cartoon make booth vistors all Looney

You’ve got one week to get your booth ready
Gotta sit next to a weirdo named Eddie
Five days to tackle drawing anime
Or is it Spiderman’s spindly Aunt Mae?
You still got to lug those boxes into the convo
It’s been three hours sine you took some Pepto’
Yesterday you drew Howard the Duck
Cause it’ll be two days till we say you suck

Like Zazzle you make the mad shirts
Okay, no one bought your t-shirts
What’s for dinner as you want steak
You have State Street on GPS or did it break?
Gonna have some beers and spend all your money
That’s okay, you sell more books for your honey
Penny Arcade’s got the mad hits
You try to match wits but get outbidded on Project Wonderful
Gonna make a break and take the cake
I’d like a Shamrock shake
Gotta see the con because then you’ll know
That Vertigo_X is gonna show
As he’s gonna start gradin’
Never mind he’s Canadian

It’ll still be two days till you say you’re worried
It’ll still be two days till you say you’re worried
Wrigley Field, Home of the Cubbies

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Posted in Conventions, Featured News.

15 Comments

  1. Dude, that’s awesome. I love me some BNL, and I found myself singin’ along as I read thru and smilin’ the whole way. Now I want to see your Howard the Duck drawing. 🙂

    • Hey, so you’re saying I suck? Man…

      Howard the Duck was one of those terrible movie ideas… and of course it came from George Lucas. How did he ever make millions?
      🙂

      • Dude, not at all…far opposite. I respect you and your drawing abilities more than words can express. I’m one of the few that hunted and hunted, begged and begged for Howard the Duck to be released on DVD and when I got my wish I snagged up my copy faster than a 2 year old sticking a marble up his nose. I thought Howard the Duck was a great movie, I was 11 when it came out and probably 12 or 13 before I saw it on VHS for the first time. It was one of the few Sci-Fi flicks my dad didn’t mind renting almost every weekend for us. I’m being totally honest, I really would like to see your Howard the Duck drawing.

        Good luck to ya’ll next weekend at C2E2. I hope y’all sale a ton, make a bunch of new friends and new readers.

        • Sorry, I have a habit of being sarcastic and I forgot to put the little smiley face on that comment. I was teasing for sure.

          I was not a fan of Howard the Duck but I can see its appeal. I also am not a fan of Lucas outside the original Star Wars trilogy.

          Sorry if I came off any other way but just having fun.

          • Your good. I just wanted to make sure I didn’t strike a nerve with ya. I’m with ya on the Lucas thing and Star Wars. I’ve been introducing my kids to Star Wars, but starting with Episode IV the way it should be. I just hate my Episode VI now has Hayden Christensen (or whatever his name is) at the end instead of
            Sebastian Shaw. I still wish Lucas would have had David Prowse be the unmasked Vader though.

  2. My boss just requested I take my Ritalin! o.O …by the end of the song, I was standing up singing it at the top of my lungs! That-WAS-a-WICKED-PISSAH (<–compliment) of a parody song Byron. Who knew, at your age, you could be so hip. Ya know, instead of breaking one! *smirk*

  3. Byron,
    I’ve got tears in my eyes reading this, it is laugh-out-loud funny! So much angst and so TRUE! I feel like I’m spending the con walking around in your shoes… “Cause it’ll be two days till we say you suck” kills me! Great idea, great execution. Thanks for this little anthem!

    • Well, inspiration came from the fact that it is EXACTLY one week until I set up C2E2 in Chicago and this just came to mind.

      I’m partial to the line “Gonna sit next to weirdo name Eddie…” as I always seem to get odd-bodkins folks next to me. Not my booth pals, but those idiots in the table next to you. Last year we were on a corner and avoid much of the weirdness of neighbors.

      Glad you liked it!

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